Welcome to the my Internet quote collection! I have searched for the the W. C. Fields quotes on the Interet and have presented them here. For those of you who appreciate reading quotes, enjoy! If you have time to kill, why not read all of them? :)
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W. C. Fields Quotes
W. C. Fields (January 29, 1880 – December 25, 1946) was an American juggler, comedian, and actor. Fields created one of the great American comic personas of the first half of the 20th century—a misanthrope who teetered on the edge of buffoonery but never quite fell in, an egotist blind to his own failings, a charming drunk; and a man who hated children, dogs, and women, unless they were the wrong sort of women.
Source: wikipedia.org
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place… a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
Thou shalt not steal - only from other comedians.
Water rusts pipes. (His reasoning for not drinking water)
Who took the cork out of my lunch?
Some More W. C. Fields quotes
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