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W. C. Fields Quotes

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Welcome to the my Internet quote collection! I have searched for the the W. C. Fields quotes on the Interet and have presented them here. For those of you who appreciate reading quotes, enjoy! If you have time to kill, why not read all of them? :)

W. C. Fields Quotes

W. C. Fields (January 29, 1880 – December 25, 1946) was an American juggler, comedian, and actor. Fields created one of the great American comic personas of the first half of the 20th century—a misanthrope who teetered on the edge of buffoonery but never quite fell in, an egotist blind to his own failings, a charming drunk; and a man who hated children, dogs, and women, unless they were the wrong sort of women.
Source: wikipedia.org

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive.

My father...one of the great immorals, er, immortals, of our time.

My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

Never give a sucker an even break.

Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.

Never try to impress a woman because if you do, you'll have to keep up that standard the rest of your life.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
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