Welcome to the my Internet quote collection! I have searched for the the W. C. Fields quotes on the Interet and have presented them here. For those of you who appreciate reading quotes, enjoy! If you have time to kill, why not read all of them? :)
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W. C. Fields Quotes
W. C. Fields (January 29, 1880 – December 25, 1946) was an American juggler, comedian, and actor. Fields created one of the great American comic personas of the first half of the 20th century—a misanthrope who teetered on the edge of buffoonery but never quite fell in, an egotist blind to his own failings, a charming drunk; and a man who hated children, dogs, and women, unless they were the wrong sort of women.
Source: wikipedia.org
Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one.
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. "I'm looking for a loop-hole," he explained.
Man: "I have no sympathy for a man who is intoxicated all the time."
WC Fields: "A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy."
Secretary: "It must be hard to lose your mother-in-law."
WC Fields: "Yes it is, very hard. It's almost impossible."
Charlie McCarthy: "Say, Mr. Fields, I read in the paper where you consumed two quarts of liquor a day. What would your father think about that?"
WC Fields: "He'd think I was a sissy."
Hangman: "Have you any last wish?"
WC Fields: "Yes, I'd like to see Paris before I die." (pause) "Philadelphia will do."
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