Questions that make you go Hmmm?
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains onall fours? They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
A New Pet
This guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.
So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.
After some discussion he finally bought a centipede, (100 leg bug), which came in a little white box to use for his house. The pet shop owner told him the centipede was a bit grumpy but essentially a good pet.
He took the box home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar for a drink.
So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to Frank's place with me and have a beer?" But there was no answer from his new Pet.
This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to the bar and me?" But again there was no answer from his new friend and pet.
So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time.
This time he put his face up against the centipede's house and shouted, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank's place and have a drink with me?
A little voice came out of the box: "Hey no need to shout I heard you the first time! I'm just putting my shoes on!"