A String Walks Into a Bar...
A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here."
The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer.
The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?"
The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks that he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up.
The little boy is sitting on the toilet, reading a book. About every 10 seconds, he puts the book down, grips the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on the head with his right hand.
His mother says, "Billy, are you all right? You've been in here for a while now..."
Billy answers, "I'm fine, Mommy... I just haven't gone 'doody' yet."
Mother responds, "Okay, you can stay here a few more minutes. But Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?"
Billy says, "It works for ketchup!"