Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'
The woman shakes her head no.
Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'
The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.
His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'
You Might Be in Emergency Medicine If:
You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.
Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you.
You have the bladder capacity of five normal people.
You can identify the positive teeth to tattoo ratio.
Your idea of a good time is a cardiac arrest at shift change.
You disbelieve 90% of what you are told and 75% of what you see.
You have your weekends off planned a year in advance. (?? What's a weekend?)
You believe that "Shallow Gene Pool" should be a diagnosis.
You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.
You believe that unspeakable evil will befall you if the phrase "Wow, it's really quiet" is uttered.
When someone calls you a bastard, you take it as a compliment.
When you are out in public you compliment a complete stranger on their good veins.
You have ever referred to someone's death as a transfer to the "Eternal Care Unit".
You have ever referred to someone's death as a "Celestial Discharge".
You refer to someone in respiratory distress as a "Smurf".
Your idea of a really good time is Duelling Defibrillators.
You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled "Suicide: Getting it Right".