Two Brazilian Men
A Blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, "Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident."
The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing "That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!"
Confused, he says, "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved."
After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, "...How many is a Brazilian?"
A woman comes home from work one afternoon and declares to her husband that she has decided to have her breasts enlarged.
“How much is that going to cost” asked her long suffering husband.
"Only $3000 per breast," she replied
"Bloody hell, that’s a lot of money. Why don’t you try the tissue treatment first and see if that works?"
"Tissue treatment, I have never heard of that, how does it work?"
"All you do is take a soft wad of tissue and rub it up and down repeatedly between your breasts."
"I can’t see how that is going to make any difference."
"Well to be honest neither do I but seems to have worked wonders for your backside."