The Scotsman and the Beggar
A Scottish man was on his way to work when he passed by this homeless guy. The beggar was out there calling out to everyone, trying to get everyone to give him money. He was saying "Give money to the homeless. Give money to the homeless 'cause you don't know, one day it might be you."
The Scot had his hand in his pocket, holding some change. "Oh my gosh," he said, "Maybe I should hang on to this then."
More "Scottish Jokes"
Tit for Tat
Two friends were out having drinks. After having a lot of drinks, the first friend asked, "If I went to your house while you were at work and got your wife pregnant, would that make us related?"
"I don't know about related," the second friend replied, "but it would definitely make us even."
More "Drunk Jokes"