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Assicons

smiley face

We all know those cute little computer symbols called 'emoticons,' where:

:) means a smile and

:( is a frown.

Sometimes these are represented by

:-)

:-(

Well, how about some 'ASSICONS?'

Here goes:

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) a sore ass

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_o_) an ass that's been around

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) Money coming out of your ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass

More "List" Jokes

 

$300 Bet

smiley face

This guy comes into a bar, walks up to the bartender. Says, "Bartender, I got me a bet for you. I'm gonna bet you $300 that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a single, solitary drop."

The bartender looks and this glass is a good ten feet away. He says, "Now wait, let me get this strait. You're tryin' to tell me you'll bet me $300 that you can piss, standing over here, way over there into that glass, and not spill a single drop?"

Customer looks up and says, "That's right."

Bartender says, "Young man, you got a bet."

The guy goes, "Okay, here we go. Here we go." He's lookin' at the glass. He's thinkin' about the glass. He's thinkin' about the glass. Glass. He's thinkin' about the glass, glass. And then, foosh, he lets it rip. And he pisses all over the place, man. He's pissin' on the bar. He pissin' on the stools, on the floor, on the phone, on the bartender! He's pissing everywhere except the glass!

So, the bartender is laughing his face off. He's $300 richer. He's goes, "Ha, ha, ha, ha! You idiot, man! You got it in everything except the glass! You owe me $300!"

Guy goes, "Excuse me just one-one little second." Goes in the back of the bar. In back, there's a couple of guys playing pool. He walks over to them. Comes back to the bar. Goes, "Here you go, Mr. Bartender, $300."

And the bartender's like, "What the are you so happy about? You just lost $300, idiot!"

The guy says, "Well, see those guys over there? I just bet them $500 a piece that I could piss all over your bar, and not only would you not be mad about it, you'd be happy."

More "Drunk" Jokes

Say Cheese

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