Best Ball Player
With his ball and bat in hand Billy walked up to the home plate in an empty baseball field.
As he posed at the plate, he announced, "I am the best ball player ever!"
Then he threw the ball up in the air and swung with all his power, but missed. He did the same thing and missed again.
He picked up the ball, tossed it up one more time, while shouting, "I am the best ball player in the world!"
Then he swung and missed again. He shook his head in amazement and then a big smile appeared on his face as he shouted, "Wow! What a pitcher!"
More "Children Jokes"
DEA Inspects a Ranch
A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher.
He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher says, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there," as he points out the location.
The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me."
Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher.
"See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish..... On any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"
The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA Officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull......
With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored before he reaches safety.
The officer is clearly terrified.
The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....
"Your badge. Show him your BADGE!"
More "Animal Jokes"