Top 10 Signs Your Cat Has Learned Your Computer Password
10. E-Mail flames from some guy named "Fluffy."
9. Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard.
8. You find you've been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt.recreational.catnip.
7. Your web browser has a new home page: http://www.catfancy.com/.
6. Your mouse has teeth marks in it ... and a strange aroma of tuna.
5. Hate-mail messages to Apple Computer Corp. about their release of "CyberDog."
4. Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it.
3. You keep finding new software around your house like CatinTax and WarCat II.
2. On IRC you're known as the IronMouser.
1. Little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post.
Another Day in the Life of a College Student
Up too late the night before.
Want to stay in bed some more.
Searching for a matching sock
in time to make my eight o'clock.
Sprinting all the way to class.
Slowly running out of gas.
Walking in the pouring rain.
A thunderstorm's inside my brain.
Soaking wet, I make it in.
Professor asks me where I've been.
I try to think up some excuse.
"It's chronic eight o'clock abuse!"
Writing till my hand falls off.
Don't have time to even cough.
Can't get breakfast off my mind.
Now I'm half-a-page behind!
Man, this lecture's really boring.
Is it me that I hear snoring?
No, it's just the ocean breeze.
I'm floating on a piece of cheese
sailing off to la-la land,
while jamming to a reggae band.
And as I lay me down to rest,
please let me dream I pass my test.
And if I don't, for goodness sake,
just let me sleep till summer break!