5 Tips for Women
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other!
The Proctologist Mechanic
A proctologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork and was burned out.
Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.
When the time of the practical exam approached, the proctologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill.
When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.
Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying "I don't ant to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade."
The instructor said "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."
After a pause, the instructor added "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career."