Mother Mouse
A mother mouse and her three children crept out of their hole into the kitchen and began feasting on some delicious bits of food. Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, Mother Mouse saw a cat slinking toward them. The cat was between the mice and their hole.
The mother muse puffed up her lungs and went, "Woof! Woof!"
The cat turned tail and ran. With that, the mother quickly led her children back to safety in their hole.
When they were settle and breathing normally, Mother Mouse said to her children. "Now, what's the lesson from that experience?"
"We don't know," the baby mice squeaked.
"It is this," said Mother Mouse. "It's always good to know a second language."
An Irishman Walks into a Bar
An Irishman walks into a bar and orders three glasses of Guiness, drinking them one at a time. Noticing this odd ritual, the bartender explains that the beer goes flat when poured and informs the man his beer would be much fresher if he ordered one glass at a time.
The Irishman explains he began this custom with his two brothers, who have moved to America and Australia, respectively. This is their way of remembering all the time they spent drinking together.
The man becomes a regular at the pub, well-known for always ordering three beers at once. One day he walks in and orders only two beers. Assuming the worst, a hush falls among other patrons.
When the Irishman returns to the bar to order his second round, the bartender quietly offers his condolences. The man looks confused for a moment, and then explains, "No, everyone's fine. I gave up beer for Lent."
