Expecting a Baby
For weeks a 6-year old Little Kevin kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.
One day the mother allowed Little Kevin to feel the movements of the unborn child.
Little Kevin was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.
The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Kevin, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"
Little Kevin burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"
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Redneck Morals
An out-of-state couple are camping on the shores of a lake near a tiny hamlet.
The young wife, stunningly built, decides to give the local town folk a thrill by sun bathing in the nude.
"That's OK with me, honey," says her husband. "I'll go get some wood for the fire."
About thirty minutes later, the husband returns to the campsite and finds his wife in tears. One of her breasts has been painted green, the other red and her ass is blue.
"What on earth happened to you dear?" he asks.
"Some of those rednecks from town came over and told me they don't allow any nakedness around these parts. Then they gave me this paint job!"
"Damn those trouble-makers! I'll fix them!" the husband shouts.
He rides into town and finds the rednecks in a bar.
"Who is the SOB who painted my wife red, green and blue!" he shouts.
A huge redneck, about 6'8" steps forward, a shotgun in his hand. "I did it," he bellows. "What you got to say about it?"
The husband answers meekly, "I just wanted you to know the first coat of paint is dry."
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