My wife and I went to the state fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, 'THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs, smiled and said, "He mated 50 times last year."
We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, 'THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, "WOW!! That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."
We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, 'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said, "That's once a day! You could REALLY learn something from this one."
I looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow."
My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery.
Dr. Phil Therapy
Dr. Phil was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.
"You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turns to the third mom. "Your obsession is alcohol. This, too, manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At that point, the fourth mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on Dick, we're leaving."