A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor, and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer.
She approached and asked if he was alright. The boy said he was.
A little while later however, she noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself. Approaching again, the blonde said, "Would you like me to be your friend?"
The boy hesitated, then said, "Okay", looking at the woman suspiciously.
Feeling she was making progress, she then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone? Why don't you go and join those boys playing soccer over there?"
"Because," the little boy said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!"
Farmer's Three Daughters
A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, "I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?"
"No," the farmer said.
The second beau came to the door and said, "I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?"
The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. "Hello, my name is Chuck."
The farmer shot Chuck.