I Spat in This Beer
A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink.
After a few more he needs to go to the bathroom. He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer, do not drink!"
After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"
More "Drunk Jokes"
Billy Bob's Vacation
Billy Bob and Lester were talking one afternoon.
Billy Bob said, ''Ya know, I reckon I'm about ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your suggestions as where to go."
He continued, ''Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Betty Sue got pregnant. Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Betty Sue got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Betty Sue didn't get pregnant again.''
Lester asks Billy Bob. "So what you gonna do this year that's different?''
Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Betty Sue WITH me.''
More "Redneck Jokes"
Cut Your Hair
A young man comes home and says "Dad, just got my driver's license and would like to use the family car."
Father replies, "O.K., son. But, first, you have to get good grades in school, keep your room clean, make the yard is neat, and cut your hair. Come back in a few months and then we'll see."
Well, several months pass and the young man comes into the house with his report card in his hand. "Dad, I got great marks on my report card. I've been keeping my room as neat as a pin, and the yard is always ship-shape. How about letting me use the car?"
Father replies, "That's all true, but son you didn't cut your hair."
Son says, "But, dad, Jesus had long hair."
Father replies, "Yes, son, you're perfectly right. And he walked everywhere he went."
More "Father's Day Jokes"