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Happy New Year!!! I hope you all have a fantastic and prosperous 2010!!!

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

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1. I resolve to work with neglected children. (my own).

2. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.

3. When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"

4. I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.

5. I will balance my checkbook. (on my nose).

6. I will think of a password for my computer other than "password."

7. I will try to figure out why I "really" need 11 e-mail addresses.

8. I will go into McDonald's and order a McSpreader

9. I will go into McDonald's and order a McSlurry

10. I will find out why the correspondence course on "Mail Fraud" that I purchased never showed up.

More "New Year" Jokes


Easy Turkey Recipe

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Since the holiday season is almost here, I thought it would be a good time to send this recipe. When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people, like me, who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.

10-12 lb. Turkey
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is good.)
1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT) Salt/pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter, salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven. Listen for the popping sounds.

When the turkey's ass blows the oven door open and the turkey flies across the room, it is done.

And, you thought I couldn't cook!!!

Would you like my baked bean recipe?

More "Holiday" Jokes

Upset Snowmen

upset snowmen - hundreds of angry looking snowmen

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Redneck Air Conditioning

redneck car airconditioning - ac unit attached to back window

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