This fellow walks over to the bartender and says, "I hear you are a betting man."
The bartender answers, "Sometimes I indulge."
"OK, I'll bet you $10 that I can bite my eye."
The bartender thinks, "This is a good bet, OK!"
The man takes out a glass eye, puts it in his mouth and bites it! The bartender doesn't like it! He's fuming, but pays up his $10.
The man says, "Don't aggravate yourself. I'll bet you double or nothing I can bite my second eye."
The bartender figures, "OK, he can't have two glass eyes. You're on!"
The man takes out his false teeth and bites the other eye… The bartender is really furious. But a bet is a bet — he plunks down his $20.
The man says, "Come on, don't be angry. I'll give you another chance to win it all back. Double or nothing. You see this shot glass? I'll put it at the end of the bar. I'll shake up this bottle of coke and I'll throw the contents from here into the shot glass without spilling a drop on the bar or mirror or anywhere."
The bartender says, "OK. Let's go."
The man spends two minutes shaking up the bottle of coke. He opens it up. It sprays the bartender, all over the bar, on the glasses, the mirror, the whole place and not a drop in the shot glass. The man says, "Boy, that was terrible!" and pays the bartender back the $20 he had previously won.
The bartender is smiling from ear to ear, laughing his head off. The man turns around and walks away. The bartender calls after him. "Boy," he says, "you're not dumb. How come you did such a dumb thing?"
The man points to a group of customers in the back. He says, "I bet them $1,000 that I could spray you and your whole bar with coke and you wouldn't get angry, and if you are laughing I get $2,000."
Three Boys Bragging
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are.
The first one says: "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow."
The second one says: "Ha! You think that’s fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet."
The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says: "You two know nothing about fast. My father is a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30 and he is home by 3:45!"