The Potato Farm
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are running from the cops.
They hide on a potato farm. They crawl into some potato bags.
The first cop pokes the bag with the brunette in it. She says, "Meow." The cop confirms that it is just a cat.
The second cop pokes the bag with the redhead in it. She says, "Woof." The cop says that it is just a dog.
The third cop pokes the bag with the blonde in it.
She says in her sweetest voice, "Potato."
Sweet Mrs. Jones
Toward the end of church service, the Minister asked the
"How many of you have forgiven your enemies?
All held up their hands except one small elderly lady.
"Mrs. Jones? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"
"I don't have any," she replied, smiling sweetly.
"Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?"
"Ninety-eight." she replied.
"Oh Mrs. Jones, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said:
"I outlived the bitches."