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Valentine's Day One-Liners

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Q) What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
A) Hog and kisses!

Q) What would you get it you crossed Odie with the God of love?
A) A stupid cupid!

Q) Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?
A) It was Valenswine's Day!

Q) Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
A) Sure, they're very scentimental!

Q) What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
A) "I'm sweet on you!"

Q) What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
A) "I find you very attractive."

Q) What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine's Day?
A) A hug and a quiche!

Q) What would you call a woman who goes out with Jon?
A) Desperate!

Q) What did one pickle say to the other?
A) "You mean a great dill to me."

Q) What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
A) "I love you a ton!"

Q) What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
A) "You're fun to hang around with."

Q) Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine?
A) He fell in love with a pincushion!

Q) What did the pencil say to the paper?
A) "I dot my i's on you!"

Q) Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?
A) She left a bad taste in his mouth!

More "Valentine's Day" Jokes

 

Investment Tips for 2009

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For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.

Watch for these consolidations in 2009:

1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become:

Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2.) PolygramRecords, Warner Bros., and ZestaCrackers join forces and become:

Poly, Warner Cracker.

3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:

MMMGood.

4. ZippoManufacturing, AudiMotors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become:

ZipAudiDoDa.

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:

FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:

Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:

PouponPants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:

Knott NOW!

And finally...

9. Victoria's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name:

TittyTittyBangBang

More "List" Jokes

Valentine's Cupid

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Happy Valentine's Day

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