A Young Man At A New Year's Party
A young man at a New Year's party turns to his friend and asks for a cigarette.
'I thought you made a New Year's resolution to quit smoking,' his friend says.
'I'm in the process of quitting,' the man says. 'Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.'
'What's phase one?'
'I've quit buying.'
More "New Years Eve Jokes"
If two mouses are mice and two louses are lice why aren't two houses hice?
More "Word Jokes"
One day the teacher asked her students to use the word "contagious" in a phrase.
Sarah lifts up her hand and says, "Teacher, teacher I got one!! A cold is contagious!"
The teacher is very happy. Tom lifts up his hand and says, "Teacher... yawning is contagious"...pretty good Tom!!
Finally, Timmy lifts up his hand and says,
"Oh... Oh... I got one... The other day, as my mother was mowing the lawn, my father looked out the window and said it contagious to finish!!"
More "Children Jokes"