A guy orders a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits a blond woman’s boobs and splashes all over them. The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off her boobs.
Each time the guy calls for another beer, this happens. So, after his third beer, he decides to help the bartender out. The next time the bartender hit her boobs, the man jumps up and starts to lick her breasts — then, she decks him!
He is laying on the floor moaning, ‘Jeez, lady … Why do you let the bartender do it?’
‘Duh,’ says the blond, ‘He has a licker license!’
Short Christmas Jokes
What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle Bells, Jungle bells..!
Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
They both drop their needles!
What's Christmas called in England?
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
Thanks, I'll never part with it!
Why is a burning candle like being thirsty?
Beacause a little water ends both of them!
What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
What do you give a train driver for Christmas?
What did the big candle say to the little candle?
I'm going out tonight!
Whats happens to you at Christmas?
Yule be happy!
How long does it take to burn a candle down?
About a wick!
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!
How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve!
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?
The letter "D"!
What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Who delievers cat's Christmas presents?
Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney?
Because it soots him!
Who delievers elephants's Christmas presents?
How many chimney does Father Christmas go down?
Why is Santa like a bear on Christmas Eve?
Because he's Sooty!