The Pope Visits Scotland
While on an official visit to Glasgow, Scotland, the Pope had become increasingly bored with being waited on hand and foot and transported from place to place.
One day, enough was enough for the pope, and he leaned over from the back of the limousine and tapped the chauffeur on the shoulder.
"Excuse me sir," said the Pope. "Would you mind if I got behind the wheel for a while and took this baby for a spin?"
A little bemused and bewildered, the chauffeur agreed. After all, he was the Pope. The two men exchanged places and the Pope began to have the most fun he'd had in years.
The Pope began to take the limo faster and faster, until a cop car clocked him going 85 in a 40 mile an hour zone. Sirens wailing, the young policeman, also a devout Catholic, gave chase to the speeding limo.
Eventually the cop managed to pull the limo to the side of the road, and he got out of his car ready to do battle with the reckless speeder. The cop approached the window, tapped on the window and beckoned for the driver to roll the window down. With a startled gasp, the young cop jumped back on his heels and sped back to his patrol car to phone his supervisor.
"You'll never guess who I just pulled over," stammered the cop.
"Who?" was the inquisitive reply.
"This guy is big, very big," said the cop.
"The commissioner?" asked his supervisor.
"Bigger, much bigger"
"Oh no, much, much bigger."
"Sean Connery?!" came the exasperated reply.
"No, no, no." said the cop.
"Then will you just bloody tell me who it is," screamed his boss.
"I don't have a clue," said the cop. "But the Pope is his bloody driver!!!!"
More "Religious Jokes"
A husband and wife were having dinner at a fine restaurant when an absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, tells him she'll see him later, and walks away.
His wife glares at him and says, "Who was that??!!"
"Oh," replies the husband, "that was my mistress."
The wife says, "That's it; I want a divorce."
"I understand," replies her husband, "but remember, if you get a divorce, there will be no more shopping trips to Paris, no wintering in the Caribbean, no Lexus in the garage, and no more country club. But... the decision is yours."
Just then the wife notices a mutual friend entering the restaurant with a gorgeous woman on his arm.
"Who's that woman with Jim?" she asks.
"That's his mistress," replies her husband.
"Oh," says the wife, "... Ours is prettier."
More "Men vs Women Jokes"