Pardon Me, Ma'am
A man and woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, who was taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unconcerned that her dining companion had disappeared.
The waitress went over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."
The woman calmly looked up at her and said, "No he didn't. He just walked in the door."
A woman answered her front door and found two little boys
standing there holding a long list.
"Excuse me," one of them explained, "we're on a scavenger hunt, and we still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a
piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar."
"Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?"
"Our baby-sitter's boyfriend."