A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! And please pack my new blue silk pajamas."
The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she does exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good.
The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish. He says, "Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Blue gill, and a few Pike. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"
The wife replies; "I did, they were in your tackle box."
Very Special Bar
This guy goes to a bar located at the top of the Empire State Building in New York City. It looks like a nice place and he takes a seat at the bar next to another guy.
"This is a nice place. I've never been here." The first guy says.
"Oh, really?" The other replies, "It's also a very special bar."
"Why is that?" the first guy asks.
"Well you see that painting on the far wall? That's an original Van Gogh and this stool I'm sitting on was on the Titanic."
"Gee, that's amazing!" the first guy says.
"Not only that, but you see that window over there, fourth from the right? Well, the wind does strange things outside that window. If you jump out you'll fall about 50 feet before the wind catches you and you're pushed back up."
"No way. that's impossible." the first guy replies.
"Not at all, take a look," the other man replies and walks over to the window followed closely by the first man. He opens the window, climbs over the sill and falls out. He drops 10... 20... 30... 40... 50 feet, comes to a stop and whoosh! He comes right back up and sails back through the window.
"See, it's fun. You should try it," he says.
"Try it? I don't even believe I saw it!" the first man shouts.
"It's easy. Watch. I'll do it again." And with that, he jumps out of the window again. He drops 10... 20... 30... 40... 50 feet, comes to a stop and whoosh! He comes right back up and sails back through the window.
"Go ahead, give it a try, its a blast," he says.
"Well what the hell. OK, I'll give it a try," the first man says and proceeds to jump out of the window. He falls 10... 20... 30... 40... 50... 100... 200... 300... 400... 500... 1000 feet and splat! He ends up as road pizza on the sidewalk below.
After calmly watching the first man fall to his death, the other guy casually closes the window and heads back to the bar and orders another drink.
The bartender arrives with the drink and says, "You know Superman, you're a real ass when you're drunk."