Scotsman at the Bank
A Scotsman named Angus walked into a bank in London and asks for the loan officer. He says he's going to the US on business for two weeks and needs to borrow 1,000 pounds. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so Angus hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, he has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at Angus for using an expensive Rolls as collateral against a 1,000 pound loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, Angus returns, repays the 1,000 pounds and the interest, which comes to 10 pounds.
The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow 1,000 pounds?"
Angus replied, "Where else in London can I park my car for two weeks for only 10 pounds and expect it to be there when I return?"
Through Thick and Thin
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?"
"What dear?" She asked gently.
"I think you bring me bad luck."