Inner Peace
By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show,
you too can find inner peace.
Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace
is to finish all the things you have started and have
never finished."
So, I looked around my house to see all the things I
started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the
house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot,
a bottle of Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish
Cream, a bottle of Kalhua, a package of Oreos, the
remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of
the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates.
You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now.
Please pass this on to those whom you think might be
in need of inner Peace.
Their First Fight
Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I had a DREADFUL fight!"
"Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it's not half as bad as you think. Every marriage has to have its first fight!"
"I know, I know!" said Joanna. "But what am I going to do with the BODY?"
