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You Mut Be Single

smiley face

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. can of coffee
A 1 lb. package of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by his
intuition, since I indeed had never found Mr. Right.

I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly
unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said, 'Yes you are correct. But how did you know that?'

The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.'

More "Drunk Jokes"

 

The Dancing Duck

smiley face

A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot.

Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!"

"So?" asked the ducks former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"

More "Animal Jokes"

 

Too Cute

cute kitten looking up with big eyes

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Ready to Quit?

anti smoking ad with smokers mouth at bus exhaust

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Too Old for Playgrounds Fail

man falls off of playground wheel

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