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List Jokes
You Know You're From Pennsylvania When
You know you're from PA if:
1. You have an uncontrollable urge to buy bread and milk when you hear the word "snow."
2. You say the correct pronunciation LANG-kist-er instead of the mispronounced Lan-CAST-er, and LEB-en-in instead of the equally-incorrect Leb-a-NON.
3. You know the only way to make good fastnachts is to cook them in LARD.
4. You live within two miles of a plant that makes potato chips, corn chips, pretzels, candy, or ice cream, or that packages turkeys, beans, or bologna.
5. You ask the waitress for "dippy eggs" for breakfast.
6. You do things "once," as in "I'll go check in the back room once."
7. You can stop along the road to buy fruits, vegetables, or crafts on the "honor system."
8. You know what REAL pot pie is.
9. YOUR turkey has "filling," not "stuffing," and most certainly, NOT "dressing."
10. You know that chicken corn soup from a fire house is the most nearly perfect food on earth.
11. Your neighbors' names are Driebelbis, Stoltzfus, Lebo, Peachey, Yoder or anything ending in "-baugh or -ouch."
12. You say things like, "Outen the lights," "I'm calling off today," and "They're calling for snow."
13. You've heard of distelfinks and hex signs.
14. Red Beet Eggs makes your list of top ten favorite foods.
15. You pronounce "Suite" as SUIT, not SWEET.
16. You say you're going out to the shed "AWHILE," instead of "FOR AWHILE."
17. You only buy your beer and soda by the case.
18. You think the roads in any other state are smooth.
19. You know the Penn State cheer. (WE ARE...PENN STATE!)
20. Hearing horses clopping down a paved street doesn't bring you to the window to see what's going on outside.
21. You never see any Confederate Flags, except on the Gettysburg Battlefield.
22. You prefer Hershey's Chocolate to Godiva.
23. You consider Pittsburgh to be "out west," and you know the fastest way to Philly is the Turnpike.
24. School closings due to snow take the radio stations a half an hour to finish, because just about every town has its own school district.
25. When someone says 1972, you think "Agnes," When someone says 1977, you think of "The Johnstown Flood" and when someone says 1979, you think "TMI."
26. You call sloppy joes "barbecue."
27. You think Medium Rare equals Well Done.
28. When it snows, they put cinders on the roads instead of sand.
29. You can give directions to Intercourse with a straight face.
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